Think of how people successfully teach children to walk. We cheer, give hugs and kisses, and do whatever we can to inspire them to enjoy learning this new skill.
And, when they fall down – which expect them to do – we encourage them to get back up and try again. There is no shame, no reprimands — only pure love and encouragement.
So, why is this so different for adults in our culture?
Our culture socializes people to play down their achievements and successes and approach mastering their goals from a stance of stern discipline and deprivation. As adults, we often judge and criticize ourselves during our learning and expansion and rarely celebrate our successes. We treat ourselves harshly for minor mistakes and tend not to take the time to appreciate our victories. Instead, we rush on to the next thing on our to-do list.
This simply doesn’t work!
Have you heard the saying “what you focus on expands?” One excellent tool for creating more joy, love, and vitality in your life is to celebrate your accomplishments big and small. Or said another way, to focus on what’s going well!
To explain the concept of “what you focus on expands,” I like to use the analogy of buying a new car.
After deciding you need a new car, you start researching by talking to friends, looking on-line, and visiting car dealers. As you narrow your search, you give that Subaru Outback a test drive.
Suddenly you see Subaru Outbacks everywhere! Did more cars magically appear on the streets? Or, did you simply turn your focus to them, open your eyes, and start noticing what was already there?
Re-ignite your child-like passion for life and manifest your dreams by focusing on what’s going well!
That’s what the 4 Steps to Expanding Success does. It helps you reverse the inclination to focus only on what is wrong in your life and instead celebrate what’s going well!
- In step one begin by recognizing a success you have created in your life. It can be any kind of success, such as finishing a project at work, going to an exercise class, having a great night out with a friend, taking the time to breathe deeply, or simply being your authentic self. Success in this context includes being kind to yourself and others. No success is too small! Let yourself honor your successes, whether they relate to health, relationships, work, spirituality, relaxation, or fun. Maybe you woke up 10 minutes early to have some quiet time, you honored yourself by saying “no” to someone, or you stopped for a minute to look at the beauty of a sunset.
- Step two entails acknowledging who is responsible for the success. This will always be you as well as anyone you co-create this success with because you create your reality. Express gratitude to yourself, co-creators, the Universe, God for this achievement. By honoring yourself regularly for your successes, you will begin to recognize your power as a deliberate creator.
- Step three helps you celebrate the success on a deeper level by going ahead and feeling your success in your body. Take a few breaths and connect with your emotions and energy about your accomplishment. Feel how wonderful it is to let yourself be excited about your life. Sense this enthusiasm throughout your entire body as well as the space surrounding your body, your personal energy field.
- In step four expand that feeling even more by considering how much more success you are willing to let into your life and body. Go ahead and experience what it will feel like to when you can feel more comfortable being your authentic self, have even more success, or bigger accomplishments in your life.Then choose a particular motion (success move!) such as putting your fist in the air, taking a bow, or doing a dance to amplify that feeling of success in your energy.
The more you do it, the easier it becomes. You create a new, positive habitual pattern that changes that way you think and respond to the world around you.
Some people initially fear that they will become arrogant by doing this exercise. I am not suggesting you brag or feel superior to others because of your achievements.
Instead, this process will help you recover the excitement for life we naturally have as children.
When I connect to perfect moments in my childhood – those moments where life was good and I felt truly connected to everything– they all have one common thread: the experience of feeling Free!
The freedom to:
- Honor and express my thoughts and emotions – however they showed up in the moment.
- Be in the moment, totally present, without worries about the past or future.
- Express myself creatively – to pretend, to sing, to dance, to paint.
- Be unaware of what other people think.
- To explore and make mistakes – knowing that this was a part of growing and learning how to be in the world.
- Experience true joy – the “laugh until you cried” kind of joy.
- Experience unconditional love – knowing in my heart that I was worthy by just being me.
And, because I was free, and encouraged to grow and explore, I could easily learn new skills.
If you integrate these four steps into your life and use them several times each day, you will almost certainly begin to acknowledge and honor other people’s accomplishments as well.
So, celebrate your successes and re-ignite your passion, inspiration, and excitement for exploring the world, achieving your goals and manifesting the life of your dreams.