How Being Fully Present with Your Emotions is the Quickest Way to Transform Them.

One day last week I found myself crying for no particular reason.

Being at home during the pandemic has created so many blessings and so many challenges. But the bottom line is this…… my routine and plans for 2020 have been turned upside down!

And, with that comes a roller coaster of difficult emotions that we want to run away from —  grief, fear, anger, and bouts of self-pity.

Am I having a nervous breakdown? Nope.

Emotions are a normal and natural response to stress.

We all want emotional balance, but, if you don’t allow yourself to fully experience them – by dismissing them, burying them, deflecting them, denying them, blaming someone else, or telling yourself to shut up and be grateful – you will stay stuck.

So, how do you shift your emotions? Here’s what works for me….


First, create a “sacred pause” – the space to allow yourself to fully experience the emotions.

woman sitting on dock

Find a quiet place (the bathroom or closet will work!) and a brief chunk of time to pause…. breathe…. and give yourself permission to be with “what is” in the moment.


Second, courageously investigate – where am I feeling this and how does it feel? Without judgement, without expectation, without making it right or wrong.

Bring compassion to what’s rising inside of you. Fear, grief and all emotions need some form of safety, love, or acceptance.

Tell yourself over and over again, “it’s OK that it’s here.”


Third, allow the emotions to release through movement, music, tears, talking, being in nature, journaling – whatever feels true and right for you.

Last week, I took a walk in the woods, cried, grieved, and sat surrounded by trees with the sun shining on my face.

I promise you will be amazed at how good it feels to just let the emotions move through you.


Finally, from this experience you will remember……

That you are stronger and more resilient than you could ever imagine.

That you are not broken if you have an off moment or day. It’s OK to feel whatever you’re feeling.

That you can feel everything and survive.

That this too shall pass.

That in softening your heart and feeling compassion towards yourself, you feel a deeper connection with humanity.

That in the midst of pain you will become a truer, more beautiful version of yourself able to take the next best step forward.

NOTE: if you have experienced trauma, I encourage you to find a professional counselor to help guide you through the healing process.